Business Writing Workshops:

We understand that being able to write in a clear and professional style is important to your business. That is why we have developed the Business Writing Institute and the Effective Business Writing workshop. This practice-driven business writing workshop will significantly improve your ability to write in English, so that your readers will receive a clear, concise, effective message. Most professionals spend at least 15-20% of their time writing for business; emails, memos, business letters, reports and other business correspondence. Our customized approach guarantees an improvement in business communication skills that will increase your productivity, success and job satisfaction.

Learn more about our business writing workshops here, or contact us for more information.

Benefits of business writing training workshops:

• learn how to write a business letter
• discover the skills of writing a business letter
• learn to create clear business correspondence
• understand the difference of writing for business
• improve overall business communication

Business Writing Training Workshops Help With Business Signage

My friend Margaret sent me two examples of faulty writing on signs. I want to share them to help office managers and others who make signs for visiting customers.

Read the two notices below, and see if you recognize the problem they share. 

1. In a doctor's office: "In order to better serve you, please turn off your cell phone during your visit with us today."
2. In a credit union: "For security reasons, please remove sunglasses, helmets, and hoods to better serve you."

The problem is the phrase "to better serve you." The phrase is not connected properly to the main sentence. It dangles there, worrying readers--especially English teachers and copyeditors.

In Example 1, the phrase "In order to better serve you" does not have a subject. Who wants to "better serve you"? Because the phrase lacks a subject, readers expect the subject to come immediately after the phrase, as in "In order to better serve you, we . . . ." But it's not we who should turn off your cell phone--you should. The structure is unstable.

Here are ways to revise Example 1, the sign in the doctor's office:

1. "In order to better serve you, we ask that you please turn off your cell phone during your visit with us today."
2. "In order for us to better serve you, please turn off your cell phone during your visit with us today." (This sentence indicates that the job is for us to serve you.)
3. "Please turn off your cell phone during your visit so we can serve you better."

I prefer the last revision because it is the most concise. (I used can to indicate ability. If you would prefer may, please read my post "Can vs. May--Not So Simple!"

In Example 2, the sign in the credit union, once again it is unclear who is doing the serving. The pronouns we and us do not appear. With we, the structure is solid: 

1. "For security reasons, please remove sunglasses, helmets, and hoods so we can serve you better."

I don't like the solution above, though, because it pulls readers in two directions. Is the reader removing apparel for security reasons or for better service?

The revision below is clearer and more honest:

1. "For security reasons, please remove sunglasses, helmets, and hoods."

If you make signs or know people in your workplace who have that job, please pass on this post.

Source: Lynn Gaertner-Johnson link

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